bored out of my mind, but it was for my friends birthday…ehh,
got home and talking on the telephono with chris, and talking about suicides,(how we got there, i’ll never know) so i looked up suicide notes…
crazy what people end up writing…basically your last words.
Divorced female, age 61
You cops will want to know why I did it, well, just let us say that I lived 61 years too many.
People have always put obstacles in my way. One of the great ones is leaving this world when you want to and have nothing to live for.
I am not insane. My mind was never more clear. It has been a long day. The motor got so hot it would not run so I just had to sit here and wait. The breaks were against me to the last.
The sun is leaving the hill now so hope nothing else happens.
my long beach teachers compared me to alexander mcqueen,
coolest field trip ever…
time to get back to sewing! :)
im forgetting how he looks like, and that i never saved his pictures.
that its been six years, and i still cant get over him.
that i stay up all night, thinking…
that when school starts, i wont have no free time.
that when school starts, i have to wake up early in the morning. :(
that the rain, even though i love it, is restricting me from going anywhere.
that i have been home all week.
that the ones who have money and just want to do it for fun…make it, and the people with real talent and desire, never do.
that if this is even worth it, all this, even if its what make me happy, this clearly makes me happy.
that since school hasn’t started yet, i am lazy ass fuck.
that no matter how many people are around me, in the end when i go home, i’m still alone.
that its like a freezer in my room.
that i haven’t been in my sewing room, because of the rain.
that i haven’t sewn anything for two weeks.
that i have no job, because i am gonna be in school all day.
that i want to stay home, instead of going to parties, i’m getting old.
that no matter how old i get, i still feel like a kid, its a good and bad thing.
that i never give any guy a chance, because they will never be better than him.
that when i finally forgot and gotten over it, something or someone reminds me, then its back to where he left off.
that if i saw him again, will it be the way it was back then.
that i dont think i will ever find anyone who will make me forget about him.
that i like my ex as a friend, but secretly want to get back with him, but i don’t wanna settle for less.
that he left the day he said he loved me, what the fuck?
that i cant afford anything i want, because i have to spend it on shit i need for school.
that this week every night my left ear keeps ringing around 11-ish, which means my boyfriend is thinking about me, what fucking boyfriend? my ear is trippin!
that its almost 3 in the morning, and i’m writing this, fuck my life. hahahaha
i’m gonna try to sleep now.
see you later
i’m gonna be an aunt yay!